The Top Yet-To-Be-Developed Smartphone Apps

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Editor's Note: I was a lazy kid. Fortunately, I grew up just 10 houses away from an equally lazy, if not lazier kid than myself. The 20+ year friendship I’ve had with Greg Goldman grew purely out of laziness. We were both victims of Suburban USA. Our bikes could only take us so far... and we were really lazy. I didn’t even like Greg for the first couple of years. By time third grade rolled around, I think we both realized that neither of us was going to do much better in the best-friend department. We settled on each other, and haven’t come up with a good enough reason to stop being friends since then.  If you're offended by any of the following, take it up with him.     
-Bogas
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By: Gregor

When I’m distracted or not paying attention to what's going on around me, my brain tends to “think” on its own without consulting me first. I’ve spoken to said "brain" about this and we have yet to come to an agreement on how to move forward.  I've noticed that I tend to do most of my thinking in what I like to call "thinking zones" (riding the subway without cellphone service, failed attempts at falling asleep sober, or waiting for the deli guy to mess up my sandwich order).  I've had a lot of useless ideas that will never come to fruition.   Recently, I was at the deli waiting for a sandwich I likely didn't order, and I decided to conjure up some yet-to-be-invented smartphone apps. If such shitty and useless inventions like condoms, electric razors, Drano, DirecTV, and v-necks can survive the market, I don't see why these apps can't happen... **Disclaimer: It should be noted these apps are for rotten people with no souls or low moral standards (unlike myself who's nothing but a genuine, honest and stand up individual).**

The Liar App - Everyone has people in their lives (loved ones mostly) who they want, or sometimes need to lie to, but they can’t because it’s so difficult with all these global positioning systems, status updates, checking-in, etc. We are living in the age of transparency, causing tough times for the serial liars out there. This app is really simple: it manipulates information on your emails, call logs, texts, GPS status, etc. Say you have a co-worker who wants to hang out all the time and you just can’t stand to see the look on his face when you tell him you don’t want to go to his lame ugly sweater party. So you tell him you’re going to call him on Friday (blatant lie) and then when you see him on Monday you show him your phone which shows three phone calls to him. This app can also check you into places, like “Volunteering at Soup Kitchen” or at an “Art Gallery Opening” while you’re really watching the fifth season of Peep Show at home by yourself. 

He Said/She Said App - Where the Liar App is a tool to help prevent you from getting into a jam, this app is designed to help you get out of one. This simple, yet effective app may save your relationship.  You start off by typing something that your significant other says or asks of you, and the app formulates a response that will keep you out of the doghouse. For example, when your girlfriend says, “The cherry blossoms are blooming at the botanical garden right now, we should go!” The app will formulate a few suggested responses like, “Yes, I’ve been meaning to check out the Japanese hill and pond garden,” or “Let’s go right now!” and then a few suggested responses to avoid like “Are you kidding me? I'd rather kill myself,” and “Why don’t you just go with your sister?”

"What Race Is This Person?" - I’m not racist. I can prove it because I went to a Rock Against Racism concert 10 years ago and bought a t-shirt.  This evidence clearly shows my unquestionable acceptance of all races and cultures, so here are the details: The purpose of this app is to avoid coming off as uneducated, awkward, and (most importantly) racist in social settings. The app works by taking a picture of the person in question and it details that person’s racial/ethnic background.  So to use myself as an example, if someone was curious of my race they could discreetly take a picture of me and this would show up: | 3rd generation American | White-Eastern European Dissent | Kinda Jewish. Nobody wants to have to awkwardly ask the Korean guy in accounting if he has any recommendations for your trip to Thailand, or piss off the Turkish waitress by asking if just one or both of her parents are Mexican. It could also come in handy for your “Italian” friend who's actually 6% Italian, but claims otherwise.

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About the Author: Greg, no stranger to the internet, wrote and directed one of my favorite YouTube videos of all-time (shout out to the stars of the video- "Slippery" Pete Hill and Tim "Don't call me TJ" Sanders). Greg has also made an appearance on Epic Blogas before, when he invited me to join him on his Sports Dudes webcast in 2011.  Look for more contributions from him in the future.    
-Bogas

The Five Greatest TV Drinking Buddies

Don't call it a comeback...
I should start off by apologizing for disappearing for over a year.  It's sort of like that time your dad told you he was going out to get some groceries, didn't come back, and abandoned you and your mom so he could start a new life and family with his secretary.  Thirteen months later he realized his secretary was a bigger bitch than your mom and his new step-kid was more horrible than you, so he came crawling back asking for your forgiveness.  That's me.  I'm back, and I want your forgiveness.  Can I promise you that I won't abandon you again?  No, no I can't.  But I did bring this puppy and shiny new bike with me.

Why now?
"Mad Men" is returning for its fifth season and I really like TV.  Thanks to it being available on Netflix's streaming library, I was able to get caught up during the 17-month hiatus.  After the first season I knew "Mad Men" would join the ranks of my favorite TV shows.  Don and Roger had some great alcohol-induced moments in the first four seasons.  This got me thinking - what other TV tandems stack up with these two liquor loving lushes?

The criteria.
I wanted to come up with a top ten, but I had a tough enough time coming up with just five.  I also had to limit it to shows that I've watched.  I've seen my fair share of TV, but I couldn't bring myself to write about shows/characters that I didn't know much about ("MASH," "How I Met Your Mother," etc.).  Additionally, it had to be about two (or more) characters who we associate alcohol consumption with, not characters who got got drunk once (name a sitcom that didn't have at least one drunk episode), or a character who didn't really have a drinking buddy (ex. Archie Bunker).

It's good to be back.  Enjoy.

Drink Up

Cliff and Norm

Who: Cliff Clavin and Norm Peterson, Cheers (1982-1993)

What: Beer


Where: Cheers

When: Usually after work

Why: Because sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. 

Classic moment:  To preface this, I do not consider myself a "Cheers" expert, whereas I like to think I'm well-versed in the other four shows mentioned in this post.  I always respected "Cheers," but didn't learn to appreciate it until recently.  Also worth noting, Cliff and Norm spent almost all of their on-screen time drinking together at Cheers so I had a tough time choosing one moment. Their interactions are always among the funniest parts of any episode.  I'm sure there are hundreds of other moments I could have chosen, but I saw this one recently, and it's also on YouTube:       

Moe, Homer and Barney

Who: Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble, The Simpsons (1989- )

What: Duff Beer

Where: Moe’s Tavern

Why: Barney is essentially Homer without the job, wife, and kids.  These childhood friends have been enjoying Duff beer at Moe’s Tavern since "The Simpsons" debuted back in 1989. Despite various attempts at sobriety, name changes to Moe’s, running competing plow businesses, etc., these two drinking buddies always manage to come together over a nice frosty Duff at Springfield's best dive bar.

Classic moment: One of my favorite Homer/Barney benders was in "Duffless," the 16th episode of the fourth season. Homer and Barney are leaving a tour of the Duff Brewery and Barney is about to get in the driver's seat. Homer, believing he's less drunk than Barney, unsuccessfully tries to knock Barney out (first with a punch, then with a crowbar and finally by repeatedly closing the car door on his head).  Barney relents and gives Homer the keys.  Without fail, Homer falls victim to a DUI sting.  As he passes the field sobriety test and is about to be sent on his way, Barney (now sitting in the driver's seat) suggests to the police that they give Homer a breathalyzer test. The police oblige, and Homer fails.

Bunk and McNulty

Who: Bunk Moreland and Jimmy McNulty, The Wire (2002-2008)

What:  Jameson

Where:  Anywhere in Baltimore where they see fit.  On the job or after work.  Depends on the mood they’re in.

Why:  These two tortured souls love three things in life: po-lice work, women and whiskey.



Classic moment:  In a first season episode, McNulty approaches his partner, Bunk, about lying to a fellow detective so that he can proceed with a case of his own.  Bunk begrudgingly accepts.  When their shift ends, they head to a bar where McNulty picks up the tab as a repayment to for Bunk helping him out.  As McNulty is getting ready to leave, he realizes that Bunk is making eyes at a woman across the bar.  Bunk asks McNulty to call his wife and tell him that he picked up a case and he won’t be home for awhile.  McNulty looks skeptical, but has no other choice when Bunk drops, “I lied for you didn’t I?”  I could try to describe what happens next, but I wouldn't be doing it any justice, so just watch:  

  

The Gang: Dennis, Mac, Dee, Charlie, and Frank

Who: The Gang, from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005- )

What: Alcohol.

When: Yes.

Why: Because it's funny.  

Where: Paddy’s Pub

Classic Moment:  The evolution of Frank Reynolds has been one of the greatest aspects of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."  By time we get to the fifth season,  Frank is nothing like the relatively mild-mannered Frank we met in the beginning of season 2.  He is now a walking shit show.  In "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention," there's no doubt in my mind that Danny DeVito is genuinely drunk in the opening scenes, and perhaps throughout the entire episode.  After showing up wasted and propositioning his dead ex-wife's sister for sex at her husband's funeral, the gang decides it's time they stage an intervention.  The episode ends back at Paddy's with a failed attempt at an intervention, and the entire gang drinking wine from diet soda cans.  I couldn't find a clip from the end of the episode, but here's a clip from earlier in the episode of DeVito as Frank looking like he's trying to reprise his role of the Penguin from "Batman Returns."

Roger and Don

Who: Don Draper and Roger Sterling, Mad Men (2007- )

What: Old Fashioned (Don), Martini (Roger)

Where: The office, restaurants, nightclubs, home, in the car, etc.

Why:  These guys had it made.  Life was theirs for the taking, and they took it. I spend my lunches eating Subway hoagies in the break room in our office.  These guys spent their lunches sipping on whiskey and gin and eating at the finest restaurants in Manhattan.

Classic moment:  When Don finds out that Roger hit on his wife, he devises a clever payback.  Ahead of an important meeting with Richard Nixon's campaign staff, Don takes Roger out for lunch and drinks.  Before they exit the building, we see Don whisper something to the elevator operator.  They spend lunch eating oysters and tossing back cocktails.  When they return, we realize that Don told the elevator operator to lie about the elevator being out of service.  Their hike to the 23rd floor begins.  Don uses this opportunity to embarrass Roger.  By time they reach the 8th floor we see Don lighting up a cigarette, while Roger is already feeling the effects of the walk.  Don, the younger and more fit of the two, is visibly winded as he makes it the 23rd floor office, but pulls himself together rather quickly and is introduced to the clients.  Moments later, Roger comes stumbling in like an extra from the set of "The Walking Dead" and is greeted by Don, Burt Cooper, Pete Campbell and Nixon's campaign staff.  Before getting a word out, Roger hunches over and vomits in the middle of the office for all to see.  Point Draper.    

I couldn't embed it, but the scene can be found here.

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So there you have it.  If you think I missed any drinking buddies or could have picked better moments for any of the characters, let me know.  I'm definitely be interested to hear other opinions.

Look for the next edition of Epic Blogas in April of 2013.

The Epic Blogas Week in Review (Feb 18th)

I'm fuckin' out!

This Week in Alcoholism:  When Kenny Powers of Eastbound and Down does it, it’s hilarious.  When all-world first baseman Miguel Cabrera does it, it’s sad.  A Florida sheriff’s deputy spotted the 27-year old Cabrera in a parked car on the side of the road with smoke coming from under the hood.  When approached by the deputy, Cabrera uttered the go-to phrase that every famous person who’s ever been drunk and in trouble has used: “Do you know who I am?”  In true Kenny Powers fashion, Cabrera then took a swig from an open bottle of scotch that he had with him.  Unfortunately for Cabrera, this wasn’t a scripted HBO comedy.

Mom of the Year front runner.

Mom of the Week:  Congratulations to our first unanimous mom-of-the-week winner, Caira Ferguson, 21, of Chester Township, PA.  In an attempt to show that she had been a victim of identity theft, Ferguson went to police with a picture of her with her daughter.  That seems innocent enough, right?  Wrong.  The picture featured a smiling Ferguson, alongside her then one-year old daughter whose arms and legs were duct taped to a chair while a piece of tape covered her mouth.  Needless to say, police were much more interested in the picture than the actual identity theft claim.  

The surviving three members have
started a "Never Miss a Doctor's
Appointment Club."  

This Week in Karma:  When you’re pushing 80 years old, the last thing you want to do is tempt the Grim Reaper.  But that’s exactly what Bob Cook did when he and the three other men of the “Never Miss a Super Bowl Club” filmed a commercial for Visa touting their perfect Super Bowl attendance.  Cook became ill as he was getting ready for his trip to Dallas. He was later hospitalized and unable to attend the game. Sadly, his condition worsened and he passed away earlier this week.   Superstitions and sports go hand-in-hand.  In baseball, when a pitcher is throwing a no-hitter, his teammates don’t talk to him in the dugout and the radio/TV announcers don’t discuss it on air.  I’m not suggesting Cook was deserving of his fate, but when you have a streak like that going, you don’t talk about it, let alone flaunt it on national television for millions to see. 

Stay classy, Detroit.

City of the Week:  Detroit, MI.  It’s nice to see that the American public has been paying attention to the recent turmoil in the Middle East.  If you take a closer look, you’ll see that the people of Egypt and the people of Detroit really aren’t all that different.  Both groups bravely stood up to their government to achieve a result for the common good of the people.  A grassroots campaign in Detroit helped raise $50,000 to help a RoboCop statue become a reality.  The campaign kicked off after a lighthearted tweet was sent to Detroit’s Mayor, Dave Bing.  "Philadelphia has a statue of Rocky & Robocop would kick Rocky's butt. He's a GREAT ambassador for Detroit," the tweet read.  Mayor Bing shot down the idea, but citizens took notice.  A Facebook group was started, the website detroitneedsrobocop.com launched and $25,000 was donated by a local businessman.  

Other statues to be erected in 2011:  John Spartan (of Demolition Man), in an undetermined location in the San Angeles region;  Ferris Bueller, outside of Wrigley Field in Chicago; and dual Crocodile Dundee statues, one in Grand Central Station in Manhattan and the other at the foot of the Sydney Opera House in Australia.  

An Epic Blogas Production

Presents:  

The Sports Calendar

Presents:
A Year of Sports

All of our lives, we’re told that a new year starts on the first day of January and ends on the last day of December.  I’m here to rid you of that notion, and introduce you to a new calendar of sorts.  Gone are the days of the 12-month year.  Who can remember the names of all 12 months, anyway?   I’ve made it easier for you, the sports fan.  I've broken the year into three parts: The Beginning, The Middle and The End.  I've gone over what I believe to be some of the best moments, games, tournaments and events that occur throughout the year.  I grouped some events together where I thought it made sense (Conference Tournaments + Selection Sunday + the NCAA Tournament = March Madness), while others I left others separate (NBA Draft Lottery, NBA Draft).  As you'll see, I have a strong bias towards MLB, NFL, NBA and NCAA Basketball, but I touched on various sports.  Feel free to hit me up with any suggestions.  I'll definitely add anything I deem worthy.  

The Beginning

A good stretch to
start off the sports year...

Spring Training - mid-February: Is there a better way to kick off the sports year?  It's February and ugly piles of black snow are still lining your street, but when you first get word that pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training, your miserable life becomes just that much more bearable.

I'll admit, the year doesn't start off with a big bang.  Instead, it starts with a bunch of borderline-athletes stretching and working on bunting techniques...and I love it!  A spring training game is just a watered down version of the game you know and love, but just seeing it puts a smile on your face.  If you tune into a spring training game after the third inning, there's a good chance your favorite team will look like it was hijacked by players who you swore had retired three years ago, and no-name minor leaguers wearing numbers like 93 and 78.

Dick Vitale 2.0

March Madness – March:  March Madness starts with the conference tournaments, which often produce better games than the tournament itself.  Then comes Selection Sunday.  Selection Sunday is a long and drawn out television event that could be done away with if degenerates like myself didn't eat it up.  March Madness is right up there with the NFL playoffs as my favorite post-season event.  With the tournament comes filling out brackets, Cinderella, Gus Johnson, cheering for schools that you hadn’t heard of prior to the start of the tournament and most importantly:  watching games until your eyes bleed. I will surely devote an entire posting to the wonders of March Madness once the time is upon us.  

Start of the MLB Season - end of March, early April:  Overlap is always a good thing when it comes to sports. The Final Four and the start of the MLB season usually coincide, and this year is no different.  With March behind us, April brings us the first real signs of spring.  Birds are chipping, the black snow that lined your street is a thing of the past, and your favorite team is about to embark on a 162-game, six month marathon.  Best of all, there is a game on every night.  My love for football and baseball are polar opposites. I love football because of the build-up to the once-a-week games, and I love baseball because it's on every night.    

The Masters - early April:  All four majors are must-see for me, but the Masters is easily my favorite.  It goes hand-in-hand with the start of baseball and brings a similar feel.  Watching the final round of the Masters on the sofa with my dad on a lazy Sunday has become one of my favorite non-Philly-related sporting events to take in.       

The NHL and NBA Playoffs (includes Finals) - starts in April:  The NHL and NBA playoffs seemingly last forever.  Unlike MLB (only three rounds, one of which is best-of-five) and the NFL (single elimination), all of four rounds of the NHL and NBA playoffs are best-of-seven series.  Despite their lengthy nature, both are great tournaments.

NBA-haters either haven't watched the NBA in forever, don't like basketball or they're just racist (yeah, I said it...). I would tell them to watch the playoffs, which features the most talented players in the world on the best teams in the league on a nightly basis.  The immediate post-Jordan era was pretty bad, but the dust has since settled and the talent-level in the league has skyrocketed.

As far as hockey goes,  I've never been a huge fan, but I'm all-in once I see that first playoff beard.  Playoff hockey is undeniably better than its regular season counterpart.  If the NHL could figure out how to bottle the intensity of playoff hockey and inject it into the regular season, hockey probably wouldn't be on a network called Versus.    

One of him is enough 

NFL Draft (end of April):  I love the NFL draft, but I hate how everyone becomes a draft expert in the month or so leading up to it.  Suddenly, sports talk radio shows are flooded with calls from Mel Kiper Jr. wanna-be's who claim they know which Division II fullback would best fit their favorite team's zone blocking scheme.  

The first two rounds of the draft are exciting.  The third and fourth rounds are intriguing.  The fifth, sixth and seventh rounds make me realize that I have nothing better to do with my time than watch one of Roger Goodell's minions call out the names of players I've never heard of. 

The Middle

En route to the Elmer's Factory

The Kentucky Derby/Triple Crown –starts in May:  I’m not a horseracing fan.  I don’t follow the sport, not even a little bit.  In fact, I think it’s silly as all hell.  Despite that, the Kentucky Derby has always been a must-watch event for me.  I’ve always been a big proponent of sports history, and the Kentucky Derby oozes history (the first race was run 1875).  The Preakness and the Belmont Stakes (the other two-thirds of the the Triple Crown) also appeal to me, and I almost always watch them, especially if there is a Triple Crown contender.

NBA Draft Lottery - mid-May:  This one is for the hardcore NBA fan, but it's highly entertaining. Team representatives (owners, GMs, presidents, players, etc) from the 14 non-playoff teams get together as ping-pong balls are drawn to determine who gets the first pick in the draft.  The team with the worst record only has a 25% chance of winning the lottery, which usually makes for a night of awkward interviews and tense exchanges.

NBA Draft – June:  Once upon a time, the NBA Draft was one of my favorite events of the year.  The lottery used to be filled with well-known and well-established college stars.  Today the lottery features little-known foreigners, and talented-but-raw college freshman who have yet to learn the fundamentals of a game that they're about to get paid $60 million to play.  

NFL Training Camp – July: This one has a similar feel as Baseball Spring Training.  When your favorite NFL team hits the practice field in the dog days of summer, you know fall and winter aren't too far behind.  Training camp leads into preseason football.  Preseason football games are a lot like spring training exhibition games, you're excited to see it, if only because you know the real thing is right around the corner.  

MLB All-Star Game - mid-July: This is the only all-star game I have on this list because the other three are painful to watch (although I do still enjoy the NBA all-star game for some reason).  Baseball, by nature, isn't as violent as hockey, football or basketball.  Therefore, when the other three sports get together for their all-star games there is an unwritten rule that defense is frowned upon (defense might lead to contact, and contact might lead to injuries).  The nature of baseball allows its all-star game to be played at 100% by its participants.  Of course, the MLB All-Star game isn't perfect.  I think most baseball fans would agree that it's asinine that the winner of the All-Star game determines which league gets home field advantage in the World Series.   

I'm rich...  BOOM!

Madden Debut – mid-August:  I'm confident that I'll be playing Madden for the rest of my life.  If I were to dig deep enough though my  mess of a room, I'm certain I would find copies of Madden dating back to 1994.  From Sega, to the N64, to Xbox, to Xbox 360, the fine folks at EA Sports continue to put out a top-notch football game.  To top it off, Gus Johnson is the play-by-play guy in Madden 2011.

The Little League World Series – August:  The Little League World Series is awesome.  The teams are made of 11-12 year old kids who play the game because they love to (or because their parents insisted) and it really shows.  On top of that, it's a truer "World Series" than MLB's because it actually features teams from nations throughout the world.        

These exist, I swear...

Fantasy Football Drafts - August:   A fantasy football draft is something a non-sports fan will never be able to comprehend, and I'm sure we've all tried explaining.  If possible, the fantasy football draft should be done in person, and amongst friends.  One of the highlights of doing a draft in person is being able to look into a friend's eyes while you belittle him for taking Todd Heap in the 3rd round.

The End

NFL (and NCAAFB) kickoff – August/September:  After weeks of listening to reports about insignificant calf strains to fourth string defensive tackles, and about which undrafted rookie free agent looked like the next Jerry Rice in morning workouts, it’s finally time to hit the gridiron.  Cold weather is now at the doorstep, but it's much easier to deal with since football is there to ease your pain.  Every Sunday becomes its own mini-Super Bowl, as football fans throughout the nation huddle up in their living rooms to watch 12 hour of games and highlights.

College football has always been an appetizer for me, with the NFL being the main course.  I never really rooted for a team when I was younger.  Philadelphia, in general, isn't a big college football town.  My alma mater, Temple University, has become respectable in recent years and they have peaked my interest in the sport.  I've always watched college football, and I'll continue to do so, but it will always be second fiddle to the NFL.

The start of the NHL and NBA seasons – October:  The start of the NHL and NBA season are fairly lackluster, especially since we’re in the heart of the NFL season and the MLB playoffs are in full force.  However, it is really awesome when three or four of your favorite teams are all playing at the same time.  

Don't you wanna watch the World Series?!

MLB playoffs/The World Series – October:  Up until 2007, I had only experienced one season of playoff baseball (which ended as ugly as any playoff exit in the history of sports).  Then something funny happened:  the Phillies got good.  No longer were seasons ending in mid-August, and I instead found myself watching meaningful games in October.

Simply put:  Playoff baseball is as good as it gets.  Gone are the lazy afternoons of watching a game while you fall in-and-out of sleep, and in its place comes intense evenings of heart-pounding, nail-biting baseball.  

College Football Bowl Season - December- January: The system is blatantly flawed, a quick-fix makes way too much sense, but College Football Bowl Season is still a great time of year.  As of 2010, half of all of the 120 FBS schools played in a Bowl.  Despite the diluted nature of Bowl Season, I still find joy in watching a coach from Northern Michigan A&M get the Gatorade treatment after his team wins the Preparation-H Bowl on a Tuesday night in Little Rock, Arkansas.  

The top of the mountain

NFL Playoffs/Super Bowl - January/February:  Is there a better way to finish the Sports Calendar?  The only other yearly tournament that could rival the NFL playoffs in terms of intensity, is March Madness.  The NFL playoffs are seemingly perfect.

For the first two rounds we are treated with two games on Saturday and two on Sunday, followed by Conference Championship Sunday and The Super Bowl. The Super Bowl has become an American holiday.  So much so, that I believe Super Bowl Sunday should become Super Bowl Saturday to allow the American public the chance to fully enjoy the day (read: get very drunk).


Notable events I purposely left off, and why:
The Daytona 500 and NASCAR in general:  I don't care.
NHL/NBA All-Star Games and the Pro Bowl:  Boring.  The NBA dunk contest used to be cool, but it's unbearable now.  I'll watch parts of these games but I don't go out of my way to.
Tour de France:  Tour de I don't give a shit.
Wimbledon and Tennis in general:  see The Daytona 500.
World Series of Poker: Madden is more of a sport than this.
FIFA World Cup and the Olympics:  The only reason they're not on the list is because they're held every four years.  I've always enjoyed the Olympics, especially the Summer Games.  Soccer on the other hand, I didn't appreciate until the 2010 World Cup.  I'm not about to go buy Philadelphia Union season tickets, but I feel confident saying soccer doesn't suck nearly as much as I thought it did.

Epic Blogas Joins The Sports Dudes

as featured on:

The Sports Dudes (radio show)

Earlier today I joined the world-renowned Sports Dudes for a segment to discuss the "Ten Rules to Being a Better Sports Fan."  The Sports Dudes consists of Greg Goldman, Brandon Hoy, Anthony Falco (who filled in for Brandon today) and producer Jack Inslee.  They do their internet radio show out of Roberta's restaurant in the Bushwick section of Brooklyn. 

How to listen: 

Click on: http://www.heritageradionetwork.com/programs/27-Roberta-s-Specials

Go to episode episode #4, which is at the top of the page.  I join them about 13:00 minutes into the broadcast, but I encourage you guys to listen to the whole thing.  It's a nice change of pace from the typical sports talk radio format.

The Epic Blogas Week in Review

A "chugging" whiskey

This Week in Alcohol Poisoning:  This one has been making the rounds as of late, but in case you missed it, here you go:

With the recent news that a Panamanian company plans to start packaging and selling whiskey in a can, I can't help but imagine what kind of devastation this will wreak on my whiskey-drinking friends' livers.  I'm still torn as to whether to file this under "Great Innovations in Alcohol," or "Darwinism in the 21st Century."

Will other liquors be made available in can form?  Will soda companies hop on board?  How long before Coca-Cola starts making their own rum so they can package "Rum and Coke" in a can?  I'm not sure where the future will take us, but with innovations like whiskey in a can, Four Loko (RIP) and vodka whipped cream, we are on the door step of a major alcohol revolution (or the second coming of Prohibition).
(Thanks to a few readers who informed me that Jim Beam sells canned "Beam and Cola," I had no idea.)  

Baby got back (into a hot mess)

Deposed Dictator of the Week:  So, you say you're the former dictator of Haiti, huh?  And despite allegedly committing various human rights crimes (among other heinous acts) during your reign, you've somehow managed to live the last 25 years of your life in peace and quiet in France.  Enough time has gone by where an entire generation probably has no idea who you are.  So what's your next move?  You stay in France and continue to live out your days in relative anonymity, right?

Wrong.

On Tuesday, January 18th, Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier was arrested in Haiti on charges of corruption and embezzlement.  Just days prior, Duvalier returned to the ravaged nation that he once presided over.  I'm not a violator of human rights, but it's safe to say that if I was, I would never return to the country where I was suspected of committing those crimes.  Hell, ten years ago I got into trouble for underage drinking in Ocean City, MD when I was 17 and I still haven't been back.

Iggy Poop

The Epic Blogas Goat of the Week:  Andre Iguodala.  To quote the great Tom McGinnis (radio voice of the 76ers and perhaps the most under-appreciated announcer in the history of Philly sports), "Are you kiddin' me?!"

Iguodala "is what he is" at this point in his career, at least on the Sixers.  He's an amazing athlete, and he seems to give his maximum effort on a nightly basis.  If he has the right talent around him he can be a highly effective player, as we saw this past summer at the FIBA World Championship.

Unfortunately for Iguodala, players like Kevin Durant, Rudy Gay, and Derrick Rose aren't on the Sixers roster.  Instead, he takes it upon himself to try and be the star that this team so desperately needs.   By doing so, Iguodala continues to torment whatever remaining Sixers fans are left.  His inability to come through in the clutch is uncanny.   The missed free throws, and the missed shots in crunch time are tough to stomach. This week though, I can't shake the memory of the foul he committed on Jason Richardson in Orlando on Wednesday night. If you saw the game, you know what happened.  If you didn't see the game or read about it the next day, chances are you don't care anyways...

You're not gonna ask me to come back
next year, are you?

The Epic Blogas Hero of the Week:  Ricky Gervais.  I saw maybe four minutes of the Golden Globes on Sunday, but what I did see featured Gervais lambasting Hollywood.  My favorite jab was taken at Robert Downey Jr. (and I'm still not sure if Gervais was tipping his cap to The Simpsons and Troy McClure with this one): 

This Week in TV:  

• Thanks to King for pointing out to me that Deadwood went up on HBO On-Demand. I've been meaning to check this show out for awhile now.  I just watched the first episode and I'm excited to watch the rest of the series.  Speaking of which...  
• There's something to be said about being able to watch multiple episodes/seasons of a show at your own leisure.  Sure, it's nice to be on board with your favorite show from the start, but blowing through an entire series at your own pace is always appealing.  I've watched most of my favorite series in this fashion.  The week-to-week wait in between episodes can be painful, let alone the longer wait in between seasons.  My current favorite show on TV, Breaking Bad, had its season three finale in July of 2010 and doesn't start back up again until this July.  A whole year in between seasons?!  Things like this might be acceptable in Communist China, but not here... not in my America!   
• Also, look for NBC's Parks and Recreation.  Season three started last night.  If you want to catch up (and you have a Netflix account), the first two seasons are available on Netflix Instant.  Season one was short, and sort of an introduction to the characters, similar to the first season of It's Always Sunny.  Much like It's Always Sunny brought in Danny DeVito to spruce up season two, the writers at Parks and Recreation tapped into the underutilized Ron Swanson character from season one (played perfectly by Nick Offerman) and made him an iconic TV character by the end of season two. For those of you who were fans of the short lived Starz comedy Party Down, Adam Scott (Henry from PD) joined the Parks and Recreation cast as a full-timer this season.